Meeting Ron & Teresa Buschman Friday  27th May 2016  at 12:00pm 

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: Marriage Ministry at FAC
Date: May 24, 2016 at 12:09:20 PM MDT
To: Barry & Jennifer Pendergast <barrypendergast@telus.net>, "Jennifer Pendergast" <jenniferpendergast@telus.net>

Hello Barry & Jennifer,
 
Would there be a time during the next 5 days when we could meet?  At that time, I would welcome the opportunity to address concerns you may have with me personally, and possibly the marriage ministry at FAC.  
 
Blessings,
Ron Buschman
Marriage Ministry Team Leader
First Alliance Church |12345 40 Street SE |Calgary, AB T2Z 4E6
Tel: 403.252.7572 ex 229
 
“Building Marriages That Honour God”

Our response 
From: Jennifer Pendergast [mailto:jenniferpendergast@telus.net]  Sent: May-25-16 9:07 AM To: Ron Buschman Subject: Re: Marriage Ministry at FAC
 
Hi Ron
You must be telepathic as we were having a coffee together yesterday and talking about several issues. We were discussing the opportunities of getting together with you and then almost immediately we received you email.
We would love to get together with you. How about this coming Friday afternoon? Would that work for you?
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer

The Pendergast’s account of the meeting based on notes made immediately after meeting. 

We arrived a little late due to terrible traffic on Deerfoot. We  had asked previously  if our time limit of 45 minutes would work  and Ron said yes.

To our surprise  Ron’s wife Teresa joined us in Pastor Bon Bernard’s office. Jennifer apologized for not getting up because she was getting over some intense physiotherapy sessions for back and hip problems

Jennifer made an opening comment about this ministry having gone through challenges in the past. Ron Agreed.
In compliance with Ron’s email Jennifer asked could we have an  honest and transparent  discussion in sharing our thoughts? Ron agreed yes

Jennifer went on to  explain  the problem between us was a lack of  honesty,  trust, transparency,  and poor communication. Also she felt the ministry lacked  synergy and any sense of team work.  

Ron then quickly moved to the real purpose of the request to meet. Looking at Barry he said under Matthew 18:15  his authority had been challenged in public. He gave no account of who did this, what was said, when it occurred, if  there were witnesses even. (Barry remembers a statement to the effect we were no longer members of the Marriage Matters Team  team - Jennifer felt it came later) 

Jennifer  explained  when she ran her 2 pre-schools she had 10 staff and openly welcomed tough questions. Wanted he staff to feel safe raising any issue of concern.  Leaders should encourage this . The difference  of opinions is invaluable to growth as long as overall vision and philosophy was agreed. The truth is during the period January 2014 to May 27th 2016  there was never a team meeting where key members of the Matter Matters team were present  or with an agenda of key ministry issues  and objectives to be discussed. All decisions were made solely by Ron & Teresa Buschman. Any discussions were held in private 

Barry said he was still uncomfortable about the situation with Brad Boshman from Foothills Alliance and the Marriage & Marriage  Prep Course Training  event  March 2015. Why Ron had not disclosed he was working with Brad and Elaine Young our National Director  for almost  three weeks is a mystery. It was an embarrassed Brad who disclosed this arrangement to Barry. The way it unfolded it didn’t appear to achieve any serious  objectives especially when Ron had a Marriage Course planned for April 2015 where we agreed to help in the first two weeks and the last 2 weeks. Ron  said nobody from First Alliance attended (this was incorrect) said First Alliance  merely  paid for and provided the room. Ron did not know who attended. (although he referred elsewhere that  FAC attendees to the training could likely help with a future Marriage & Marriage Prep Courses to be held in April) 

Barry said we wanted to be back involved in an active way with the Marriage Matters  Ministry and also expressed our passion to work outside the church with unmarried couples in the community (see FAC policy in other docs) . Would FAC help us build a small ministry team?  Ron said FAC would not support this - better go find a small church to work with. Teresa shared she felt FAC would not welcome the competition. Ron & Teresa had successfully fully isolated Barry & Jennifer from the Marriage Course team. 

Could we be of help in the upcoming Couples Cafe evening. Ron said he would pass our names to  Mike and the  other organizers. 

Ron made it clear based on the challenge to his authority and using Matthew 18:15 we were being expelled  from  the team for no cause. A team that now had a core group to run the ministry.  This was another surprise but perhaps explained why we had received little communication over the past 6 months. 

Ron said there were likely roles we could help with in the future. Perhaps Barry would like to take photos at the next Couples Cafe night. Barry confirmed Ron should put his request to Julie McPhail in FAC Communications. Ron said we would be allowed to attend Marriage Matters events even though FAC  had removed us from  the  team. 

As a parting shot (which hurt us a little) Ron said Pastor Bon-Benard would be running  a Marriage Course January 2017. He and his wife  had run it before and so enjoyed working this  is ministry. Barry said that was great news that the course would run again. Quite why their previous  involvement had been a well kept secret is unknown, nor why Les & Dawn teaching a course was never discussed at a team level. 

A sense that Ron expected Barry to blow his cool over this meeting. Praise God Barry remained calm. Quite why  this  decision to remove us could not have been carried out in a more convenient manner  not  the highly  improper use of Matthew 18: 15 is unknown. 

Assumed Ron acted in his own authority in this decision and his intent to mislead us about the purpose of the meeting. Its is clear  from numerous FAC documents Ron & Teresa should have consulted with the pastoral team  or coach before making such a drastic expulsion.

Ron finished the meeting saying a prayer 

As we left Jennifer quietly said to Ron she wished to  meet him privately 

From: Ron Buschman  Sent: June 1, 2016  at 6:52pm To: ‘Barry Pendergast, Jennifer Pendergast' Subject: RE: Marriage Ministry at FAC
Hello Barry,
 
I left our meeting last Friday feeling I had addressed a significant issue you felt was under my control, and yet wasn’t. Therefore, your behavior toward me this afternoon was confusing.   So I again offer to make myself available to meet with you, should you wish to discuss this new issue(s) with me. Please let me know.
 
Ron
“Building Marriages That Honour God”

Footnotes
Altogether a thoroughly unhealthy environment to be in. Good communication is a key to a good marital relationship but in this ministry it was sorely lacking. Perhaps unfortunately Barry & Jennifer had and still have  a number of very healthy ministry experiences at FAC to compare to Marriage Matters. 
The Marriage Matter Team only met once 19 January 2015  in any semblance of a team meeting. Requests for  team meetings  during 2014 and in most of 2015 and 2016 were ignored. Reasonable questions raised by Barry & Jennifer  were also deflected with excuses. Financial accountability was definitely off the table. To our knowledge few if any decisions made for the ministry  were made in reasonable discussion with team members. 

Ron & Teresa’s leadership approach is totally in opposition to the job description outlined previously by FAC in their Family Ministry Pastor job search. Being a shepherd is the number one need. 

It should be noted we do not have any evidence that Pastor Les-Bon Bernard ever took part in Marriage Matters ministry either by voice messages, emails, written documents. From November 2013 to May 30 2016 He certainly never attended any of the meetings we had with the Marriage Matters couples nor took part in any team vision casting, even a simple “how are we doing?”. He gave us neither criticism, encouragement  or any form of communication until our rushed 9 minute meeting with him and Ron in November 2015 on another  matter.