From: Barry Pendergast [barrypendergast38@gmail.com]
Sent: January-21-15 1:54 PM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
We enjoyed meeting  some of the other Marriage Matters Team members on Sunday evening - nice to put faces to names. Looking forward to more relational activities with the team.
We appreciate very much the  work and effort you (& Teresa)  have put into this ministry  so far. It was a lot of information to digest in  one meeting! Would it be possible to have a copy of the presentation you made please?
Also we would like to sit down with you  ahead of starting the next course to personally discuss an issue that we believe needs some  resolution. We are free most afternoons next week.
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer¬

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 21, 2015 at 2:11:33 PM MST
To: Barry Pendergast <barrypendergast38@gmail.com>

Hello Barry,

Attached is a word document which summaries the slides I presented.

My schedule next week is very tight, however I am available for a telephone call this afternoon.  

Ron Buschman
Marriage Ministry Team Leader
Direct: 403-252-7572 ex 229

First Alliance Church
12345 - 40 Street SE Calgary AB   T2Z 4E6
www.faccalgary.com

"Building Marriages That Honour God"

From: Barry Pendergast [barrypendergast38@gmail.com]
Sent: January-21-15 5:13 PM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Re: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
Our apologies for the delay but we had another meeting planned for this afternoon.
A phone conversation would not work because we need to refer to several  documents.

On the question of the vision’s scope we would  request that several  issues  be prayerfully considered  for inclusion.:
- We would suggest many relational issues arise because of the level of competent parenting skills - Relationship Central has  two well prepared parenting courses that could be  implemented this year;
- The issue of reaching out to a large percentage of couples who currently do not attend any church but  also need  help in their relationships. This would tie into the ‘whirlpool’ effect that was well described by Nicky Lee and  successfully used in other  churches worldwide to draw non-believers closer to God.
Look forward to meeting at your convenience
Barry & Jennifer

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 21, 2015 at 7:03:06 PM MST
To: Barry Pendergast <barrypendergast38@gmail.com>

Hello Barry,

Can I clarify the following with you?

1. Your email mentions "several" issues to be prayerfully considered.  The email highlights two; are there other items/topics you would also like me to consider for prayer? 
2. In your original email you mention "we would like to sit down with you ahead of starting the next course to personally discuss an issue that we believe needs some resolution"?   Could you help me understand the urgency for this discussion "ahead of starting the next Course" and ideally what is the "resolution" you are hoping to achieve "ahead of starting the next Course" ?  Are you referring to the Jan 29 course?

Am I missing something?

Ron 
"Building Marriages That Honour God"

________________________________________

From: Barry Pendergast [mailto:barrypendergast38@gmail.com]
Sent: January-22-15 9:43 AM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Re: Marriage Matters Ministry
 
Ron
Our apologies if there was confusion.
The concern noted in our first email is still requires  resolution and we believe this should be done before  both course commence next week.
It involves what are the  expectations  of   course   facilitators and those additionally  involved in carrying out  Prepare & Enrich inventories.
We believe there  areas of responsibility which must  be more carefully defined and monitored to prevent any chance of harm occurring in the ongoing work of the ministry.
We are also  prayerfully considering  how to address other concerns we have  arising out of Sunday’s Team meeting. We felt  Dr.  Schroeder’s message  that day  using  John 4 :  Crucial conversations handled well are a pathway to changed lives… may offer us  all  some direction.
Barry & Jennifer.

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: FW: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 22, 2015 at 11:16:00 AM MST
To: "'barrypendergast38@gmail.com'" <barrypendergast38@gmail.com>

Hello Barry,
 
Quick question; Is the first  item of your latest message the most dependant upon being resolved prior to Thursday or, do the other two items mentioned in your earlier email together with this item all have equal weight?  
 
If the first item is of highest priority, could I ask you to please write down, in point form, the concerns you have toward “the expectations of course  facilitators and those additionally  involved in carrying out  Prepare & Enrich inventories. We believe there  areas of responsibility which must  be more carefully defined and monitored to prevent any chance of harm occurring in the ongoing work of the ministry” and possibly a recommendation on how they could be resolved.  This will give us a template to guide our discussion.  Can we host this particular conversation via telephone?
 
Otherwise, if they are all of equal weight, could you create for me a meeting agenda prioritizing each topic; adding the concerns you would like to further discuss from our Sunday night meeting.  Ideally it should also include the resolve you anticipate.  Please include the time you would like allotted for each item to be discussed.  Once I have this, I’ll know how much time is needed and I can then look into my calendar for the required time slot.
 
Thanks guys,
 
Ron
“Building Marriages That Honour God”

 
From: Ron Buschman
Sent: January-22-15 11:16 AM
To: 'barrypendergast38@gmail.com'
Subject: FW: Marriage Matters Ministry

Hello Barry,
 
Quick question; Is the first  item of your latest message the most dependant upon being resolved prior to Thursday or, do the other two items mentioned in your earlier email together with this item all have equal weight?  
 
If the first item is of highest priority, could I ask you to please write down, in point form, the concerns you have toward “the expectations of course  facilitators and those additionally  involved in carrying out  Prepare & Enrich inventories. We believe there  areas of responsibility which must  be more carefully defined and monitored to prevent any chance of harm occurring in the ongoing work of the ministry” and possibly a recommendation on how they could be resolved.  This will give us a template to guide our discussion.  Can we host this particular conversation via telephone?
 
Otherwise, if they are all of equal weight, could you create for me a meeting agenda prioritizing each topic; adding the concerns you would like to further discuss from our Sunday night meeting.  Ideally it should also include the resolve you anticipate.  Please include the time you would like allotted for each item to be discussed.  Once I have this, I’ll know how much time is needed and I can then look into my calendar for the required time slot.
 
Thanks guys,
 
Ron
“Building Marriages That Honour God”

From: Barry Pendergast Telus [barrypendergast@telus.net]
Sent: January-23-15 4:15 PM
To: Ron Buschman; Ron & Teresa Buschman
Subject: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
May we please request again to meet with you as the Marriage Matters Team Leader to discuss in person one important issue of deep concern to us and the marriage ministry.
We can meet at your convenience except this coming Sunday afternoon. Most afternoons and evenings  next week are also free for us.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer

From: Barry Pendergast Telus [barrypendergast@telus.net]
Sent: January-23-15 4:15 PM
To: Ron Buschman; Ron & Teresa Buschman
Subject: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
May we please request again to meet with you as the Marriage Matters Team Leader to discuss in person one important issue of deep concern to us and the marriage ministry.
We can meet at your convenience except this coming Sunday afternoon. Most afternoons and evenings  next week are also free for us.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: FW: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 23, 2015 at 8:03:24 PM MST
To: "barrypendergast@telus.net" <barrypendergast@telus.net>

Hello Barry,
 
I want to apologize if my earlier email did not properly outlined the information I need prior to confirming a date and time we could meet.  I again ask that you please clearly define for me the one important issues you would like to discuss, and how you understand this one issue impacts either positively or negatively the ministry.  Secondly, I asked how much time would you like me to set aside for this conversation.  Once I have both pieces of information, I promise I will look for the most immediate opening in my calendar, prior to Thursday evening, for that time amount requested.
 
Blessings,
Ron 
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Barry Pendergast Telus [barrypendergast@telus.net]
Sent: January-24-15 9:58 AM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Re: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
The issue that  requires immediate attention involves what we consider a breach of trust by  a member or members of the Marriage Matters Team. We believe immediate corrective action is required to restore that trust and integrity  in all future Marriage Matters Team activities. We are willing to help find appropriate solutions through prayer and discussion.
This may require an hour or more of your  time.
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer

(The contents of this email are private and confidential  may not be shared or distributed without the written permission of the authors)

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: FW: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 25, 2015 at 11:26:53 AM MST
To: "barrypendergast@telus.net" <barrypendergast@telus.net>

Hello Barry,
 
I must confess your comment below your signature is both confusing and unsettling; could you help me understand why you feel that that comment is necessary? 
 
When I read "breach of trust" I understand that a higher level of urgency is needed toward a resolve, and specifically reconciliation between offended parties.  I will look in my calendar to set time aside Monday to talk with you.  
 
Toward the ultimate resolve being, the objective of reconciliation of Christian brothers and sisters, I would like to ensure we follow the biblical principles highlighted to us in Matthew 18: 15-17, as well as other instructional verses in the bible.
 
To that end, I ask?
 
Has the offense commitment been against you and Jennifer by another member of team?
Is it I who has committed the offense against you and Jennifer?
Did you overhear an inappropriate comment made by a team member to another team member referencing a third party?
Is it I who made an inappropriate comment to you or another team member referencing a third party?
Is there another scenario?

Ron 
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Ron Buschman
Sent: January-25-15 11:26 AM
To: barrypendergast@telus.net
Subject: FW: Marriage Matters Ministry

Hello Barry,
 
I must confess your comment below your signature is both confusing and unsettling; could you help me understand why you feel that that comment is necessary? 
 
When I read "breach of trust" I understand that a higher level of urgency is needed toward a resolve, and specifically reconciliation between offended parties.  I will look in my calendar to set time aside Monday to talk with you.  
 
Toward the ultimate resolve being, the objective of reconciliation of Christian brothers and sisters, I would like to ensure we follow the biblical principles highlighted to us in Matthew 18: 15-17, as well as other instructional verses in the bible.
 
To that end, I ask?
 
Has the offense commitment been against you and Jennifer by another member of team?
Is it I who has committed the offense against you and Jennifer?
Did you overhear an inappropriate comment made by a team member to another team member referencing a third party?
Is it I who made an inappropriate comment to you or another team member referencing a third party?
Is there another scenario?

Ron 

"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Barry Pendergast Telus [barrypendergast@telus.net]
Sent: January-24-15 9:58 AM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Re: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
The issue that  requires immediate attention involves what we consider a breach of trust by  a member or members of the Marriage Matters Team. We believe immediate corrective action is required to restore that trust and integrity  in all future Marriage Matters Team activities. We are willing to help find appropriate solutions through prayer and discussion.
This may require an hour or more of your  time.
Blessings
Barry & Jennifer

(The contents of this email are private and confidential  may not be shared or distributed without the written permission of the authors)

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 26, 2015 at 9:58:24 AM MST
To: "barrypendergast@telus.net" <barrypendergast@telus.net>

Good morning Barry,
 
I am able to carve out a portion of time in my schedule today for us to get to get together, but I am not encouraging a specific time to meet until I receive a response to my questions below.
 
Ron
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 27, 2015 at 10:04:03 PM MST
To: "barrypendergast@telus.net" <barrypendergast@telus.net>, "barrypendergast38@gmail.com" <barrypendergast38@gmail.com>

Hello Barry and Jennifer,
 
I'm bewildered; this is my third attempt in almost 60 hours to reach out to you, asking for an explanation on the legalistic style comment below your signature of an earlier email, and me needing greater definition toward your concern.  A concern you urgently needed addressed before the start of Courses on Thursday and today remains unspecified and undefined by you. I believe you've left me with limited options of how to proceed and move through this matter.  I can not allow couples/people in this Marriage Ministry to work together with unresolved issues between them.  Therefore, until there is a time when I can get a better understanding of what your mindset is, and how you can work to get closure on this matter, I can not have either of you participate, nor facilitate, co-facilitate or attend, either The Marriage Course or the Marriage Preparation course this Thursday and onward. 
 
Barry, Jennifer it is my earnest prayer that we can work through this.  Help me understand.
 
Ron
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 28, 2015 at 11:08:58 AM MST
To: Barry Pendergast <barrypendergast@telus.net>

Barry,
 
The comment hasn't upset me; it's "confusing and unsettling" and still unexplained to why you felt the need to include it.  To move forward, I first need to know that you're agreeable that that comment "(The contents of this email are private and confidential  may not be shared or distributed without the written permission of the authors)" should not have existed in that message and, will remain removed throughout this email conversation.
 
Second, I don't believe it is unreasonable when being asked for an hour of time, that one asks, what specifically the planned topic of conversation is?  Again, help me understand, even in generalities, what is the one concern you need to talk about?
 
In anticipation of you being able to provide positive responses to the two things above, I can set aside an hour and could be available at 4:30 pm. today.
 
Ron
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 
________________________________________
From: Barry Pendergast [barrypendergast@telus.net]
Sent: January-28-15 12:31 PM
To: Ron Buschman
Subject: Re: Marriage Matters Ministry

Ron
The Issue is one of  the  trust and confidentiality that couples place in us when they  undertake a  FOCCUS or Prepare & Enrich Inventory. We believe that trust has been broken in the case of one couple who took the last Pre Marriage Course. The extent of the breach we do not know but we have sufficient  information for us to identify the  facilitator and the  couple  involved.
We asked you as the Team Leader, as in previous emails  for advice in person on how to tackle this unfortunate breach and at the same time learn for future  applications of Prepare and Enrich Inventory.

It is not appropriate for us to fully disclose all the details in an email.

We are trying to resolve this issue  and prevent a reoccurrence by asking for an hour of your time. It is most unfortunate that misunderstandings have resulted in our communication with you. Please be reassured that was not our intention.

If  we cannot resolve this matter with you we suggest we jointly seek  the advice of an experienced Christian counsellor experienced in Prepare & Enrich matters.

Our intention has never been to negatively impact this important ministry only to resolve this issue in a God honouring way.
Barry & Jennifer

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 28, 2015 at 1:05:18 PM MST
To: Barry Pendergast <barrypendergast@telus.net>

Barry,
 
Thank you for articulating your concern.  Let's meet at the church in the atrium where the café is located on the main floor, at 4:30 pm.
 
Ron 
"Building Marriages That Honour God" 

From: Ron Buschman <rbuschman@faccalgary.com>
Subject: RE: Marriage Matters Ministry
Date: January 27, 2015 at 10:04:03 PM MST
To: "barrypendergast@telus.net" <barrypendergast@telus.net>, "barrypendergast38@gmail.com" <barrypendergast38@gmail.com>

Hello Barry and Jennifer,
 
I'm bewildered; this is my third attempt in almost 60 hours to reach out to you, asking for an explanation on the legalistic style comment below your signature of an earlier email, and me needing greater definition toward your concern.  A concern you urgently needed addressed before the start of Courses on Thursday and today remains unspecified and undefined by you. I believe you've left me with limited options of how to proceed and move through this matter.  I can not allow couples/people in this Marriage Ministry to work together with unresolved issues between them.  Therefore, until there is a time when I can get a better understanding of what your mindset is, and how you can work to get closure on this matter, I can not have either of you participate, nor facilitate, co-facilitate or attend, either The Marriage Course or the Marriage Preparation course this Thursday and onward. 
 
Barry, Jennifer it is my earnest prayer that we can work through this.  Help me understand.
 
Ron
"Building Marriages That Honour God"